When I was about seven years old, I was playing with my next door neighbor, Miguelito, in my home in Buenos Aires. We were having so much fun together that we promised each other we would get married when we grew up. My mother and my great-aunt, Tia Rosa, called me over and reminded me, “Annie, when you grow up, you must look for a man to marry who has enough money so that you’ll have a good future for yourself.” I was offended by what they said and snapped back, “You don’t have to worry about that, because I will be the one making the money.” That brief conversation as a seven-year-old stayed in my mind always. I told myself that I would choose a husband based on other things, because I would have a career and make the money myself!

Neither of my parents had a high school education. My father had to give up his schooling and earn money to survive. My mother was an excellent student, and had once envisioned a higher education and a career for herself; but due to the financial strain on her family after her father passed away, she had to drop out of school in order to work. So her dreams were focused on me. She thought I was smart and that I should go for it.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t always as wise as my mother would have hoped. At fifteen, with my father’s prominent example foremost in my mind (he had done well in business without a formal education) I told myself that I didn’t need to finish school. “Why have all this stress in my life when I can be successful without a high school diploma?” So I set out to prove to my parents—and to myself—that I didn’t need an education. Having learned how to type, I started looking for a job. I went on a couple of interviews and finally someone called back wanting to hire me. He told me that even though my office skills weren’t that sharp, I could work for him. There was a catch, though. I would not only have to do office work, I would be expected to do “private work” for him as well—the implication being that I would have to perform certain unsavory favors for him. That was an eye-opener for me! This man confirmed the warning my mother had given me: there are men who will take advantage of you, which is why a woman needs an education and a career of her own.

Now I was even more convinced that I needed to be independent, that I needed to rely only on myself. I decided that I was going to finish high school and get a college education so that I could get a job where I would be the one making the decisions. A job I would not only enjoy but one in which no one could ever attempt to abuse me in any way.
After completing high school, I went for a vocational evaluation with a psychologist. I appreciated the counseling she provided, and for the first time I became aware of the field of psychology. I was very intrigued. After a year of majoring in science at college, I changed my major to psychology. I was beginning to focus on my mission in life—to help people with their problems and guide them at different stages in their life, just as that psychologist had done with me. A dream and a goal were born.

Although my mother was delighted that I was pursuing a higher education, something she had always wanted to do—she was 100% against my going into a career as a psychologist. Having never had any contact with a psychologist at that point in her life, she felt that I might run the risk of taking on other people’s problems. As for my father, he wondered why I needed a career since I had a boyfriend who was in medical school. “Why do you need to work for a living if you’re going to marry a doctor?” he asked me.

But I believed in myself, and I was determined. I wanted to be a psychologist! I got a job and paid for my own university education.  I can never lose that.

My website:  AnaNogales.com

My favorite motivational quote: “El que no tiene la cabeza tiene los pies”: meaning to be wise and make good decisions, otherwise you have to do a lot of work that may not be needed…

My favorite soup: Sopa de Tomate

Dr. Nogales is the author of several books, including “Parents who Cheat” and “Don’t Call Me Baby!“

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